Tuesday, December 4, 2012

The Elephant

I have been much for blogging lately. I have wanted to get back into it but every time I have tried to blog it just seemed so fake. How can I blog about anything else in my life and not feel like I am just tip toeing around the elephant? So, here goes...At Lincoln's four month well check we found a mass on his back. I had noticed it a while back but my doctor assured me it was nothing and would likely go away. Then, when I asked her to check it again at the four month appointment, it was clearly no longer a non issue. So here we are 3 months later and we now have been told that it is most likely pediatric aggressive fibromatosis. This is NOT cancer. We are so thankful for that. However we do have a long and not so fun road ahead. Lincoln will be having surgery to have his tumor removed and then if they confirm his diagnosis by testing the tumor, he will then have chemotherapy. I am so sad for my baby to go through so much. He is only 7 months old and such a happy little guy. I am also so sad about what this will mean for my other children. Liam is a such a sensitive kid and I worry about the stress this will cause him. Sydney clearly will not be able to understand but she will sense the tension and stress. I am hopeful that we will be able to lessen the impact this will have on their lives. I will say that on a positive note, I feel thankful that this is treatable. Lincoln will survive this. I was given this diagnosis on the cancer ward of the local children's hospital, and the fact that there are other parents on that ward who are not so lucky really puts things into perspective. This will be tough. This will be depressing and sad. BUT, this will not kill us. I have faith that Lincoln will live a happy and long life. There is still a chance that this diagnosis is wrong and his tumor might be nothing more than a benign tumor. I am holding on to that hope but also preparing myself for the other. If you are the praying kind, please keep him and my family in your prayers. I would so appreciate it.
So, now that I don't feel like I am lying by omission, we can talk about more fun things. Like this picture for example...

Precious! Right?
I meet my friend Kellie yesterday to take some pictures of my kids. I always get so frustrated and flustered taking my own kids and find that they follow directions better for somebody else anyways. I took some pictures myself and thought I got some good ones...and then...I realized I didn't have my memory card in my camera! Good thing Kellie was on it! I have a ton more to post but I am going to wait and see Kellie's first so that I am not posting a ton of the same thing later.  For now enjoy that little tease.
We went to story time today. Sydney loved it as usual. She sat herself right in front to listen to the story about the "turkey Ho Ho". (She has decided to call Santa, Ho Ho.)

I also took these super cute pictures of the kids at the park the other day.


I feel so thankful to be their mommy.