Friday, March 29, 2013

The Boom

I have been wanting to blog for sometime but haven't really been sure how to talk about this. I don't want to be too dramatic, or too casual. Some part of me is still in denial too. I am holding on to the small hope that Lincoln is going to be totally healthy. By not talking about it, that it somehow isn't real.  The awful truth though, is that doctors think that Lincoln has Gardner's Syndrome. What is that? Exactly. I had never heard of it, and it wasn't even on our radar. Then...BOOM! We were totally unprepared for this. At first we were told that Lincoln likely just had a benign tumor. We weren't happy about this but it was for sure a relief. Then we were told Lincoln likely had fibromatosis. That also wasn't great, but really not a huge deal. The tumor was removed and then BOOM. I guess nobody can be "prepared" for something like this. We weren't sat down in a doctors office and gently told though. Nope, we were told by an ER doctor who had pulled Lincoln's results that we should go home and "google it". She had never heard of it but because she could see that the tumor was benign, she assumed it was good news. She was wrong. Go ahead and google it for yourself. Tumors, colon cancer, and thyroid cancer are the main highlights.
We have done testing on Lincoln's tumor and they are showing genetic markers for Gardner's Syndrome. We asked for a second opinion and the surgeon obliged. The tissue samples were sent to Vanderbilt for testing and they too came back positive. We are now waiting on the DNA blood test to come back as a final result. We have been told to accept the diagnosis as the chance of the DNA being negative is almost zero.
I don't know how we are ever going to live with this. I don't know how I am going to be able to watch my precious son go through this. I am not sure that I will able to be strong enough for him, my other kids, or my husband.
Everything I think to say about this just seems ridiculous after I type it out. Honestly, there just isn't much good that can be said about this. I am just not a "doom and gloom" person. I am not really sure how to spin this into something I can sound positive about though. This is the only life Lincoln is going to have, so I still feel like I have to make this as good as possible for him. When I say something like "We are going to be okay and get through this together "I also feel like that is ridiculous. This is not okay. BUT, I don't want to be negative and say "this is not okay" either. Its confusing, and frankly, exhausting.
Please pray for us. I know that miracles happen, so why not ask for one for my perfectly, innocent little man?! He is a sweet, happy little soul. He deserves to live a full and long life.

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Happy Birthday Liam!

A few weeks ago, Liam turned 6! I can't hardly believe that! I have no idea where the time has gone. I feel like it is almost impossible that he is 6, but at the same time, I can hardly remember my life without him. I love him so. Liam is a seriously sweet soul. He is currently living life as though he is in a par core competition (over the back of the couch, jumps on then off the ottoman, walks up the outside of the stair rail) with reckless abandon, but still such a gentle little man. I am so proud of Liam. He has such a compassionate heart. I don't think I have ever met another person who could match Liams sweet heart. Happy 6th birthday Liam!

Sorry for the blurry pictures. I was using my iPhone and the lights were out for the candles. Liam had his party at ASI gymnastics. We also had a baseball cake at home for him. Liams birthday was kind of the birthday that wouldn't end this year. I took advantage of every opportunity to celebrate for him. I know that part of this was because I was afraid Liam would get overshadowed by Lincoln's surgery that took place 2 days before Liam's birthday. I am pretty sure the mission was accomplished. 
I have a lot to say about Lincoln and how his surgery/diagnosis went but I am too tired to open that can of worms right now. Plus, lets not overshadow Liam's big day. I am all about celebrating my babies lives!